Tuesday, 17 March 2015

In honour of 'Gavaran'

So first and foremost, let me clarify that this post has a target audience of like, 8 people. And non Desi people who'll be reading this will probably be all like 

over the title. So for my non - Desi readers, a little 411 about what a 'Gavaar' is. 'Gavaaran' is essentially a feminine form of that.
Legend says that 
"can also be used to describe a brown guy who: 

thinks slicked back hair and mustache looks good, has a tendency to sing bollywood songs under his breath as girls walk by, bobs his head from side to side while talking, wears pastel or neon silk button downs tucked into acid-washed jeans, likes "road trips" to jackson heights at midnight, adhemently denies that he's a fob even though it's so obvious, thinks wearing netted shirts is hot, likes to say things like "tehri ma", collects cell phones from family members, thinks dancing bhangra with other men makes him irresistible to women, buys clothing with any sort of big logo on it i.e. armani exchange, has a really loud nasaly voice and says "shit" a lot to show how cool and american he is, doesn't leave home without his bluetooth, and is really really unattractive. 

can also be used to describe a brown girl who: 

is obsessed with shahrukh khan, doesn't leave home without eyeliner, has been getting her arms waxed since she was 12, likes "road trips" to starbucks during family parties, collects (fake) coach bags, likes to wear bright colors with head-to-toe matching accessories, adhemently denies that she's a fob even though it's so obvious, fakes an accent so she sounds like a bollywood actress, likes place dance routines for family parties so boys will look at her, tends to wear "shalwar" tops with jeans to the mall, has been getting her hair high-lighted since she was 12 but claims it's from the sun, flirts with her guy cousins in hopes that he or one of his ultra-cool fobby friends will marry her, talks really loud in a nasal voice while saying "omg he is so desi", and is really really unattractive (but not as unattractive as the guys because they are really really really unattractive.)"

 PS : And that legend, was Urban Dictionary.
So this Gavaaran who I am talking about, actually managed to survive 16 years without being murdered by someone for being so damn annoying about her movie guessing skills in dumb charades. My thoery is that she can read your mind, and guesses the movie you are thinking of before you've started acting it. If Sheldon Cooper had a slightly younger sister who was into movies, that would be her. 
She is such a fail, that even tattoo shops rejected from tattooing her. That's like being told by Kesha that you need autocorrect. 
And when One Republic came to that they were her favorite band, they decided that it was too much to bear and broke up*. 
But here's the thing about this Gavaaran, in all seriousness. Even though its been proven that she is crazy (ask her for the certificate. Its a prized posession of hers), and is incapable of standing/sitting/being still for a single second, and is extremely cocky about her knowledge of films (:P), and keeps grinning, rather idiotically I might add, all the freaking time; She has this way of making everyone she meets love her unconditionally. 
Gavaaran, you were the first person whom I hadn't pestered about reviews, to tell me that you enjoyed my blog and I cannot tell you how much that made my day. So, even though I could not attend your sixteenth birthday, here's hoping that reading this post made yours. 
Happy Belated. 

And that is her on a normal day. Yes, she gets crazier than that.