Wednesday, 11 November 2015

Things I Hate About Myself

1. 
I have the attention span, the range of a teaspoon. Honestly, my mind is like the Related Videos section of Youtube. 
I'll be sitting at home, doing Math, and I swear this exactly is the chain of thoughts that my mind follows - 
"Okay, straight lines. The y - intercept is at... is that a mark on the paper? Oh - look! Its shaped like a star! Hmm... star. Sky. Heaven. God. Satan. Hell. Dante. Inferno. Dan Brown. Robert Langdon. Harvard. College. Studies. Math. Where was I? Ah - yes, straight lines." And all this will probably have happened in a span of about three seconds. I swear, if thoughts were people, my mind would be a slut.

2. 

I procrastinate like it is my job. I will open Khan Academy on my laptop, and I will see a notification on my G-Mail tab. So what do I say to myself? Let us keep the video loading, and have a tiny peek. Five hours later I will be reading book reviews off Amazon trying to decide which one to buy for my birthday which is still three months away. And I KNOW when I'm opening the Mail tab, that nothing good can come off this, but no - my mind insists on being stupid. Honestly, why Preetha? Why? 

3. 

If they gave out Oscars for messiness(that a word?), I'd be like the opposite of Leonardo Dicaprio.
Not even kidding - I found a pair of socks that day on my study table. And the things my mother unearths from the pockets of my jeans! Tissues, toothpicks, toffee wrappers, bits of foil, coins, crumpled notes, pencil shavings(I do not even know), hair clips, rubber bands, random scraps of paper, and once, a dead squirrel. Okay I made that last one up. 
I keep things lying anywhere, and by 'anywhere' I mean just about anywhere. I found my "lost" headphones from the back of my dressing table the other day. I bought a new Chem notebook, had the notes photocopied and all in all wasted thirty minutes of my precious life in the hunt for it after giving up in morbid hopelessness, only to discover it under my bed four days after it had "been stolen"(that was the excuse I told my parents). UNDER my bed. At this point in time I do not even ask myself how. 

4. 

I switch conversations. I may have ADHD - I dunno. I mean, I will be like, "So then I told the teacher to go shove her - Oooh look free food!"
Okay not exactly like that, but something along those lines. I try to do 88 different things all at once, and since I already have an amazing attention span(refer to point 1), I fail depressingly at every single one of them -_-
5.
I have an unhealthy obsession with reading. I know, I know. Reading is a wonderful hobby that everyone should inculcate, blah blah. But hear me out. I have had a time, where I read ten books, in seven days. And I am talking 500 page plus books(without pictures. Just in case you were wondering). I did not talk, sleep,eat,poop, nothing. I lay on my bed and read and read and read. My parents grew so alarmed that they had to ban my Flipkart usage. Even now, when I am in decidedly the worst part of my school days, and I do not have time to comb my hair in the morning, I still read avidly (Proof, biatch : Reading List). 


For now, that's it. I mean ofcourse there is more - but the list is sort of never ending and lets face it, I have already shelved my self respect enough for one post don't you think? 
If you could relate, then imagine me lightly patting your back offering sympathy. If not then 
happy-clap
Congratulations. You are superhuman.